Happy New Year

Father God, thank you for hope in the new year. I think tomorrow is D Day, regardless of which organization I go with, regardless that it's the first day of the year (hate those "new year resolutions" that fall away within weeks) and tomorrow my diet goes clean because I cannot wait any longer. Gulp. Yes. The time is here. Oh Lord have mercy as I dare to believe this will be what helps me become healthier again and neutralizes this idol I have made food into. Help me as I detox away from these foods. Be with me in my decisions moment by moment. Bring me through the fire. Help me (us) in all ways, Lord Jesus. I pray for peace amidst the chaos, a stronger foundation of faith to walk the walk ever closer to you. I am ready to leave 2007 behind, as is my whole family, as it's not been the best year. This new year will be better as you work stronger in our lives. This is the year we get healthier and stronger physically, emotionally and spiritually. We thank you for these blessings so that you can better use us to be your hands and feet.

Happy New Year
Bring it on!

Surrender

Father,

You know how you have been working on me mightily the past two weeks. I have asked and asked how to surrender more to you, how to loosen a particular stronghold in my life, and when you showed it more clearly to me, what did I do? I squealed like a baby and rebelled as I always have, having no faith that I could do it, rebelling in the discomfort that would follow by doing what I need to do, for having to change so much in ways that scare and frighten me.

But in your patience, you softened my heart, chastened me in the way only a parent can. These turn of events initially tipped my thoughts, mind and soul into tipsy turvy chaos, then came round to resonating deeply. You made me realize that all things about this I will miss (making it into an idol), resent (there are far better things then this), feel are not in my nature (discipline), are all the VERY THINGS I must learn to overcome to be closer to You.

Oh, Lord, I am so grateful that you orchestrated this whole thing, from the first thought in my head to contact someone I hadn't even thought about in years, to using her words to gently, but deeply pierce my soul. Already I sense a deeper surrender than ever before and I know I will only be able to hang onto you through this. But I do feel you leading me to this and so that gives me comfort as I go through your pruning process. No doubt I'll be doing some more squealing, but I rely FULLY on YOUR STRENGTH, not my own, to finally conquer this area of my life. Oh, Lord, may it be so!

I thank you also for the peace you have put within me during this Christmas season. I really just wanted to be close to you, feel your presence around me, not worry about material things, or missing my mother during this time, and you did that for me. B. goes away the day after Christmas and I look forward to that time alone with you and on my own, to prepare for the transition to come.

Be with us through this coming year, dear Lord. I am humbled by all you have done, and continue to do, in my life. I keep my request for my son before you always and persistently, that he, too, will see and accept your grace.

I love you, Father.

Laura

Tuesday

Good morning, Lord. First let me thank you for working in my son's life, that he came to me about my cutting his money off to force him to get a job, when that very morning I had decided I must be strong and do that very thing. By working in his life you made the situation far less volatile and I am so very grateful for that. Now, to remain strong and for him to actually get a job and have the intent to do so, rather then half heartedly filling out an application here and there. You are working in his life and I thank you for that (why do I ever doubt that? Forgive me when my faith weakens). Please keep him in the palm of your hand. Find him Lord as you found me! May he have eyes to see and ears to hear you, this is my RELENTLESS prayer to you.

Thank you for a wonderful day last Friday visiting with my good friend, B. I realized I have known her for 20 years now! That is a lot for me considering all my moves and and friends I had to leave behind and who eventually lost touch with me. This friendship B. and I fought for during my divorce and we are so grateful that we weathered that storm and now look at us; both of us close to you and sharing our faith with each other. What a blessing!

Thank you for my husband feeling better. I prayed that he would feel your peace, your comfort, and most of all your unconditional love and NO condemnation that Satan often throws his way. To see him this morning, like 20 lbs. had been lifted off his face and shoulders. Oh, thank you Father!

I pray that I will have discernment about the field of transcription work, whether to train for medical transcription (costly and other factors to consider) or to try my hand at general transcription.

As always, I pray for the stronghold of my weight issue. It seems as if you have been placing before me to do a recovery program regarding this. Possibly Celebrate Recovery, possibly OA (gulp), possibly just doing the steps as B, did in the Recovery Bible which I already have. Please help me to know what to do. It is surely unmanageable at this point and perhaps I need help further then myself. I just don't know. It is one failure after another. It seems the more I try to surrender it and give it to you the worse I get and I just do not understand it. Celebrate Recovery's John Baker writes of praying not to drink as he walked into a bar. I can relate as I walk into the kitchen. Give me affirmations and discernment regarding this, please!

Thank you for this glorious cool weather that finally comes through this Florida window, for the gorgeous live Christmas tree I got yesterday which fills the house with warmth and a great smell. Oh keep me in your spirit and close to you this Christmas season.

I love you , Lord Jesus, my Redeemer, my friend.

Amen