Thank you!

So it's the end of day one. I prayed before each meal, "Father please help this to satisfy me. Thank you for the good food, whole grains, green vegetables, protein." I haven't always been good about bowing my head before meals, and this helps me to thank you and and ask you to help me before everything that I eat. I like that.

Not eating between meals was a bit of challenge, you know Lord, because I am the world's best grazer all the day through. I would pride myself that I was not someone who binged, but you know I was just fooling myself in how much really went into this mouth of mine, the games I played with myself that only hurt me (and you too). But I hope to make a good clean turn in all of this. I would not have ever even thought of no sugar and no flour as even an option, but the more you brought it before me, the more I see this could be what I need to clean my body of perhaps what may be an adverse reaction to these things that others may not feel. I would have thought this would be unsustainable, and who knows maybe it will be, but for now I lean on you, Lord. Only with you can this be possible, not leaning on myself as I always have tried to before. So many who have been in this say it's a miracle from God. I'm not even looking for a miracle, just a way to neutralize what food has become in my life. And I give all the glory to you.

So I made it to the end of the day and it's not bad for the first day. No shakiness - because there were no refined flours or sugar in my body to create that. No headaches which I'm so prone to, thank God. But hunger? Um...yeah! But at least it was real hunger for real reasons. And then the meals tasted good and they were satisfying - oh praise you God! I know it's early on and there will be mountains to climb, but this first day has been awesome and much better than I thought it would be. It at least lays a decent foundation on which to build upon.

You also brought A. to me in the phone call who helped me make a good decision of which program to go with. Thank you for that. Since he's been on all the programs I've considered, and has been successful in maintaining over a 100 lb. loss for a couple of years (Just like S. who lost 75 lbs. five years ago), I do believe this organization combines all the necessary steps of mind, body and spiritual soul. At least I hope so as I reach out in faith.

So thank you again, Lord, for this first day of the year. For this first day of transition out of the cocoon of my own making that has created depression, despair, isolation, and the worst thing of all, a separation from you in this part of my life (sin) I have persisted in. It is gluttony, plain and simple.

Your mercies are great and I pray for them to continue. Like manna from heaven I only ask for you to help me one day at a time, and to not look at the whole, big, daunting picture that tends to crush my heart and my hope.

So, as always, dear Lord and friend, thanks for everything.

And thanks for listening too.

L~