Tuesday Ramblings

Good morning Lord,

I feel like all the tall weeds are finally being plowed down so I can see the way you are leading me. Thanks for having me call C. and I pray that when I attend the meeting this Thursday that it will be as good as I feel it should be. I feel more and more confident that this is way for me to go as it seems to just set well with me when I go in that direction. I'm sure it will be hard as I go through the steps and have to surrender ever more, but at least the foundation feels good and it feels like a good fit now. Thank you God after the turmoil it felt like I was going through.

Lord, please soften M's mother's heart after the horrible time they had when M was up north visiting her over Christmas. Help her to let go of her self absorbed bitterness and see what a treasure she has in her daughter who she seems bent on hurting. I pray for reconciliation there.

Thank you for working through K as she prepares to share the speaking in our "garden" at the women's retreat. It sounds like you've truly inspired her (yes, even if it was in the dentist's chair, but you work where you can, right?!). I pray that you will move through K and myself as we speak to the ladies in "The Garden of Knowledge/The Secret Garden". Help me to be able to talk without having to look at my notes too much. That means preparation which I hate but must do. I thank you for all the special ladies who are giving of their time and spirits to put this retreat on for all the ladies of our church and beyond. It's exciting and we are grateful and our hands are lifted to you and pray all will be moved by your Spirit that day.

Thank you that B seems to be in a better frame of mind, that he will return to the men's group tomorrow evening. That's a big step. Continue to transform his mind, dear Lord, and help him to feel connected to others, not just me and his family.

As always I ask (beg) to bestow maturity on my son. I pray he sees the value in getting a job and not being afraid of hard work. I see so much that my words fall on deaf ears. I see him think he can only make it through the gains of money and power and it grieves my entire body and spirit (these things that have always been so foreign to me even when I was away from you). I am mother and father to him and it just feels impossible sometimes. I adore him and see such hope and intelligence and value in his art, yet he can't see it, he has nothing to pull him through, he seems lost and afraid under the guise of machismo. So, please, Lord, please I beg you! Send him someone to help inspire hope and motivation and goals as apparently it is not me who can do it, which I know is often the case with parents and kids. Bring him through, find him, mature him, help him to be productive and understand the true value in you, family and doing the right thing. Hear this mother's prayer!!!

I have been lacking in my quiet time with you (which ironically is what I am speaking about at the women's retreat. Sigh!) and I need to take the time to take the time! Life can be so fractured sometimes as a mother, as a wife, keeping the house, work, church, volunteering and it's essential to take it down a notch. I promise today to take that time and make it a priority.

Help me to always be in a posture of gratitude, appreciation and singing your praises. It puts me in such a better place. It calms me down.

I love you Lord. Thank you for knowing me and loving me and guiding me and letting me rest in your strength.

Amen